Perspective of an Autistic

Sometimes, as time goes ticking by
I wait for someone to see me
Don’t get me wrong, people see me
Just not the way I feel.
I don’t really wish to talk to anyone,
I just wish I could talk with someone
I live my life just as any other would do
But my home seems to be unoccupied.
The little girl you see sitting in the corner
Lines her popsicle sticks in rows
And sometimes appears to ignore the fact that you have brought her something
She’s just not aware that you are at her side
A the picnic, she slops the sauce all over the table,
“Why” you wonder, “How does a butterfly cause her to lose control?”
The movies lead to passers-by staring
For the five year old covers her eyes
The light is so bright
And holds her hears because its too loud
Her mother cries behind closed doors
Her little girl isn’t like the child she dreamed of having
Her daughter won’t even bake with her
“Please don’t cry mommy, the mittens just hurt my hands too much.”
“I’ll help you stir” your little girl screams and cries
Socks and shoes traumatize her, so barefoot you take her out the door to ease her pain
People stare back at you “ That parent has no control over her child”,
I want to speak “Please please be kind to my mommy, you don’t understand”,
You’re walking through a grocery store, once again she blocked the aisle
Throwing her body down to the ground because she wants to feel the cold floor
She hides between the clothes racks and blankets in the mall
Once again the clerks as you to leave
The parade causes too much movement
This time moving her fingers in front of her eyes and making a screeching sound
“Why, Oh Lord” the mother asks, “do you leave her heart like this?”
I dream that my daughter can fly high in the sky
I wish she could eat carrots and apples like her brother, but she gags
She views the world in a different way
“I can’t go into her eyes and see what the world looks like to her” says the mother
She catches a bubble and screams
She even hugs the construction man she doesn’t know
Because he is wearing a good feeling coat
Her memory so sensitive she can repeat whole movies after seeing them only once
“My dear child, how can I show you that I love you so very much?”
“Dear Lord,” the mother says “I no longer ask why you let her be this way.
Instead, I now know that you picked her to be my little lamb.
Thank you Jesus for giving her to me!”